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Woman A: I used it from September 2014 to February 2015 — so five months — but I was a power user!

Woman B: I use it for dating and hookups, and I blog about my experiences. We all know someone who knows someone who met her serious boyfriend on Tinder. I never heard back from him after I not-so-gently turned down his advance. Those conversations were pretty good and it seemed we had a lot in common, but what I hadn't accounted for was how different online discussion is from real discussion.

The actual meeting that follows is done in a high-anxiety social setting, which means you probably won’t be as charming in person as you presented yourself on the website.

That’s a sad realization to come to after spending 0 on a membership and hundreds of dollars more on first dates that came to nothing, but after two years, I’m ready to call it quits. Many of us have found true love on dating sites, but many more of us haven’t and probably never will.

It doesn’t mean we’re bad people or even bad partners; it just means online dating isn’t the right way for people like us to find partners who are for us. You’d think online dating would be a perfect way for introverts to meet new people, but it isn’t.

The Shallow Man has even started a counselling group called ‘Dutch women survivors’ for expat men who have been shot down in flames when attempting to approach Dutch women.

My group also helps men who were in failed relationships with the most unapproachable women in Europe.

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